What Should I Tell My Kids About Strangers?

By Beth Karcher

Bellmore Patch

It is a hard concept for kids to understand when we tell them not to talk to strangers. They see us speaking to them at the checkout line at the grocery store, the bagel store, etc. They may think that if we talk to someone once, then he is not a stranger.

Positive Parenting 123: What should I tell my kids about talking to strangers?

It is a hard concept for kids to understand when we tell them not to talk to strangers. They see us speaking to strangers at the checkout line at the grocery store, the bagel store, etc. They may think if we talk to someone once, then he is not a stranger. In addition, they may feel it is ok for them to talk to strangers since they have seen us do it. Talk to your children about “stranger danger” and develop safety rules for your family.

Tell your children that they won’t have to worry about strangers if they follow your safety rules. Tell them that you believe most people are good, therefore most strangers are good. However, some people have problems that cause them not to be nice to kids. Practice what you are telling your kids. If they ever find themselves in a dangerous situation, they will revert to what they know and they will know what to do.

In regards to the two students walking home from Stratford gymnastics on March 30 who were approached by a man in a car, they knew what to do. “The girls handled themselves very well," Detective Richard Pedone of the Garden City Police Department said. "They stayed away from the car, called 911 and took a picture of the car’s license plate with their cell phone. They used everything they have been taught by their parents, the school and the police. They did an excellent job.”

When talking to your kids about strangers, try not to be anxious, as kids pick up on this and get nervous themselves. Pick a calm time to speak to your children about this subject, perhaps at dinner time or during a car ride. Do not discuss this subject before bed time because it may lead them to be afraid to fall asleep or to have bad dreams. Do not focus on the negative consequences of talking to strangers. Instead, focus on teaching and practicing what to do to stay safe with strangers. Here are some examples of safety rules for strangers:

• Children should be taught that you can’t tell by appearances if someone is nice on the inside. Someone who looks nice and is well-dressed may not really be a nice person.
• Adults will ask other adults for assistance and will not ask a child for help. If an adult asks your child to help the adult, or asks for directions, the child should respond “NO” and run away.
• Teach kids to listen to their inner voice. If something seems weird, they should follow their instincts! Say “NO” and run away.
• It is okay to get help from strangers in an emergency situation. People who are okay to approach are store clerks or other Moms with children.
• Develop a code word that is used when anyone other than Mom or Dad picks up your kids.
• Always ask the adult in charge of you before you let a stranger get close, talk to you or give you anything.
• Always ask the adult in charge permission before you go anywhere with anyone, either a friend or a stranger. Tell your child to tell the adult in charge where he is going, who he will be with and what he will be doing.
• If someone approaches your child by car, teach your child to say “NO,” cross the street and run away in the opposite direction. It will be hard for the car to turn around and follow the child without arousing suspicion.
• If a stranger is asking or doing something that feels weird, then say “NO” and run away. Go to any home nearby with cars outside and knock on the door calling “help!”
• It is okay to speak to strangers as long as Mommy and Daddy are with you. For example, if you are at a restaurant or running errands and a stranger approaches and asks them their name, teach them it is okay to speak to them. What is not okay is for them to speak to a stranger when they are not with Mommy and Daddy.
• If someone tries to grab your child, teach your child to fall to the ground and scream “help” over and over. The more noise they can make, the better off they will be to try to attract attention from passersby. Also, teach your child to kick, bite or do anything possible to get away.
• Ask your children if there is anything they are wondering about or are scared about. Then listen patiently for their response.

One way a stranger may try to lure kids into their car is to say “come see my puppy” or “I have tickets for the Mets game. Your parents told me to pick you up and bring you to them. They are meeting us at the stadium” or even “your Mom (or parents) have been in a car accident. I was at the scene and they told me to pick you up and bring you to them at the hospital.”

You can find the rest of the article HERE

Sensei Chris Feldt
Samurai Karate Studio
Columbia, SC 29229
803-462-9425