Some Recent Facts
One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
85% of domestic violence victims are women. Historically, females have been most often victimized by
someone they knew.
Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.
WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:- Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
- Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
- Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
- Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
- Does not want you to work.
- Controls finances or refuses to share money.
- Punishes you by withholding affection.
- Expects you to ask permission.
- Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
- Humiliates you in any way.
You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:
- Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
- Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
- Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
- Scared you by driving recklessly.
- Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
- Forced you to leave your home.
- Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
- Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
- Hurt your children.
- Used physical force in sexual situations.
You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:
- Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
- Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
- Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
- Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
- Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
- Held you down during sex.
- Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.
- Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
- Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
- Ignored your feelings regarding sex.
Resources For Survivors of Domestic Violence
The Internet offers a unique opportunity for victims of domestic violence to find support and share their stories. As a warning, please be aware of online safety. Do not share personal data and use a gender-neutral user name on websites. You can find many web sites devoted to domestic violence by using an online search engine, but the quality and intent of the web sites you find have to be determined by you.
HELPFUL LINKS
The Internet offers a unique opportunity for victims of domestic violence to find support and share their stories. As a warning, please be aware of online safety. Do not share personal data and use a gender-neutral user name on websites. You can find many web sites devoted to domestic violence by using an online search engine, but the quality and intent of the web sites you find have to be determined by you.You can also visit these links:
National Resource Center to End Violence Against Native Women
email scircle@sacred-circle.com or call 877/RED-ROAD (733-7623)
email scircle@sacred-circle.com or call 877/RED-ROAD (733-7623)
Safe At Home – CA Sec. of State
Confidential mailing address program
Confidential mailing address program
The Project for Research on Welfare, Work, and Domestic Violence
REFERENCE MATERIALS
Battered Wives. Del Martin. Volcano Press, 1981
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond. Patricia Evans. Adams Media Corporation, 1996
Why Does He Do That? Lundy Bancroft. Berkeley Trade, 2003
Saving Beauty from the Beast. Vicki Crompton & Ellen Zelda Kessner. Little, Brown, 2003
But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships. Jill Murray. Regan Books, 2001
In Love and In Danger. Barrie Levy. Seal Press, 1998
When Violence Begins at Home: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Ending Domestic Abuse.K.J.Wilson, Ed.D. Hunter House, 1997
Additional Information Links
www.loveisnotabuse.com – Liz Claiborne’s teen dating violence website has great information for both, those living with violence and their friends and family.
www.ncadv.org – The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence’s website contains current information for survivors and those dealing with violence.
www.endabuse.org – The Family Violence Prevention Fund website provides materials which can be ordered, including “No Excuse for Abuse” materials and health care provider brochures.
www.nrcdv.org – The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence’s website features various publications and resources for organizations and individuals working to end domestic violence.
www.ncvc.org – The National Center for Victims of Crime information site includes materials on domestic violence, stalking and sexual assault.
www.womenslaw.org – Legal information website, including referrals and detailed protective/restraining order information, state by state.
Please: A note to men or women of domestic violence......
I am here to help, even for FREE (or for a small donation to our foundation) if you are a victim of domestic violence. All that I ask, is that we work confidentially, so that you and my students are protected from a potential batterer.
I do this because that is the work I do; and yes, I can proudly say I am good at it.